Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tis the Season to be Jolly (Obey your corporate masters, Proles)


C_Hr_I_st_M_As
The shops. The stars. The smiles.
So fake.
The songs. The tree. The gifts.
The cake.
The calls. The cards. The friends.
The cheer.
Thank Yorke its only once
A year.


---Ondu Shabda A Day Keeps The Constable Away---

Today's word of the day is quite simply, the ultimate putdown/dismissal. It ranks up there with fuck as the most ubiquitous insult known to laymen in good ol' Bengaluru. Considering I put it on the picture, you people pretty much need to know... Wait for it.... Shaata! Literally meaning pubic hair, as in, nim ajji shaata! Your granny's pubes! Now that's an insult! There's even a blog with that name, incidentally! I can thank Bharat and Shikha for turning me on to the word, and I've been spouting off to people ever since.

::Sample conversation::

Cock: Brian, let me sit in the corner today no?
Me: Shaata! For what joy?
Cock: It's Christmas!
Me: My shaata I'll let you sit for Christmas.
Cock: So mean! You've ruined Christmas!
Me: Tell that to Santa and Hallmark. Shaata bastards!

Damn, I hate Christmas. I'm going to go out and strangle random carol singers in front of their children.
Later.

*beep*

17 comments:

Priyanka said...

yes that is JUST what i would say...u ruined christmas!but then again ur right...it does get sickeningly fake a lot of times.

Naik said...

Stand up beside the fire place.. take that look from of your face..

Muddled Mind said...

Ha ha ha....I don't need to write a bleeding x'mas post now!
I taught my mom that insult as a Christmas gift!
Not shaata..just the 'nim ajji' part..she thinks it sounds like 'Bhajji'..

Martin said...

I just understood the brilliance in your poem title. I wondered why you had cut up christmas. How better to convey disgust for something than to cut it up? And not just that, you've dissected Christmas, in a manner of speaking, in your short poem. Very apt title. What does Yorke mean however? I did not understand that.

Brian 'Curmudgeon' Polson said...

@Cock - Yes, I'm sick of it all.
@Naik - Post with your google ID you bum, let people see your blog.
@Parn - Now that's a christmas gift!
@Martin - Good, someone actually got that. I've substituted Yorke for God in most of my writings. It refers to my Lord and Savior, Thomas Edward Yorke. Since these comment boxes have word limits, I will not go into detail about His Holiness.

Naik said...

You know THATS exactly the reason i would'nt .. and Thank Yorke.. We get!

Hallmark reference.. ahem!

MM said...

Shaata is a very favourite word of ours. Lovely ring to it.

And I found you. :P

Explain brilliance in title please, yes? Im dying.

Muddled Mind said...

I got poem...title and all..long ago...
Just think Yorke's B'day should be the new Christmas...as in birth of saviour day...what time o year would that be?

Brian 'Curmudgeon' Polson said...

@Naik - Shut up and post more, or I'll put the link to your blog as my facebook status message. And if you delete it, I have the Google cached page. Thbttt! Now post, child, post.
@MM - Which brilliant title pa? My blog title? My post title? My poem title? My blog title is portmanteau of Bohemian and Screed, put together to look like Bohemian's Creed. My post title refers to how we have become like the Proles in Orwell's 1984, by commercializing holidays like Christmas and Valentines, etc, so Greeting Card companies and the like can capitalize on idjuts like us. And poem title, Martin's comment above gives a pretty accurate picture...

Brian 'Curmudgeon' Polson said...

@ Parn - Yes, I agree. 7th October will be ThankYorke Day

Nehal said...

Thoo BohemianScreed is not a portmanteau ( I did research paper on neologisms in first year, don't mess :P) and I made Christmas gift and everything for you! Bah!

MM said...

I meant the poem title. I thought there was some significance to the caps and pairings.

The blog title is just awesome. I love.

Brian 'Curmudgeon' Polson said...

@Jinks - Yeah, no? I loosely used off the term! Yes, I meant to say the blog title is a "Creative-marriage-of-2-words." And give off gift! I'll think of it as early birthday present....
@MM - Why,thank ye madams. Now, why haven't you updated your wonderful blog yet?

Naik said...

ok..there is one little thing you need to know..NO ONE can call Nehal 'Gujju' Shah.. Jinks..'cept me. am possesive!

Brian 'Curmudgeon' Polson said...

@Naik - I'm sorry? I can't... Could you speak a little louder? I can't hear you over all these people using their Google IDs!

Brian 'Curmudgeon' Polson said...

@Naik - I take it back! You actually updated blog! Tears is coming, with Joy in hot pursuit!

Naik said...

hehe.. am Honoured saar! Now stop talking about IT.!